I wonder when i will be comfortable being me
in these clothes these shoes these hats
i still don't know where my soul is at
trying to find it my pocket next to guitar pics
and loose change
and your number
and i wonder where it could be
i want to find you but less than i want to find me
i want someone to wake up to but not more than i want
something to wake up for
im not depressed or sad im just
looking for myself and
it seems i'm look behind wrong doors
i keep running into dead ends and dead beats
who try to do nothing but distract me from
finding me
and thats what i need
i need to hold me until morning and love that i wake up with me in my bed
i need to stair at myself in the mirror and like what i see
i need to find
me
Thursday, November 15, 2007
to be darkness
sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be darkness
to consume everything
and allow minds to wander into you
without withholding
to consume everything
and allow minds to wander into you
without withholding
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
monsters under the bed
I don't know whether to pitty those who don't know the truth
or to shout it from the rooftops
is it better to let the city sleep than to leave it restless like me
i want everyone in the world to know that i don't know who to be
i don't know who to think of when i close my eyes
its all muffled inside and its been clawing at me
like a monster under my bed i
rush to turn on the to make the fear go away
but then im just left shivering under the fake pretense
that day light makes things clearer
but it doesn't
day light shows me confusion
makes mirrors reflect my reflection isn't who i imagine
its hard to believe thats what you see when you look at me
i don't feel like that
that mirror image of me is not who i think that you see of me
and i stand shivering in the silent light of my room
hoping the monsters under my bed will stay there
or to shout it from the rooftops
is it better to let the city sleep than to leave it restless like me
i want everyone in the world to know that i don't know who to be
i don't know who to think of when i close my eyes
its all muffled inside and its been clawing at me
like a monster under my bed i
rush to turn on the to make the fear go away
but then im just left shivering under the fake pretense
that day light makes things clearer
but it doesn't
day light shows me confusion
makes mirrors reflect my reflection isn't who i imagine
its hard to believe thats what you see when you look at me
i don't feel like that
that mirror image of me is not who i think that you see of me
and i stand shivering in the silent light of my room
hoping the monsters under my bed will stay there
Friday, September 28, 2007
I miss the people
I miss the people
I miss the people who call me to do nothing
I miss the people i call to do nothing
I miss the people who never cause awkward silences
and the ones that break them when they are awkward
I miss the people that will come over just so i can fall asleep
I miss the people who never make me question why i'm doing something... and in fact usually encourage me to do it, specially if its stupid... especially
I miss the people
I miss the people who call me to do nothing
I miss the people i call to do nothing
I miss the people who never cause awkward silences
and the ones that break them when they are awkward
I miss the people that will come over just so i can fall asleep
I miss the people who never make me question why i'm doing something... and in fact usually encourage me to do it, specially if its stupid... especially
I miss the people
blissful place between the lines
the times in life when we most need to be alone
are the times we most yearn for company
for times when we are afraid of our own thoughts
and what we might realize when we take a second to stop
and realize what they mean
but we don't want that
we never want to hear
what we actually think
and yet we never want to hear
its going to be alright
because we know its the truth
we want to live in that blissful place between lies
between the ones we tell ourselves
between the ones we tell others
between teh ones we hear
and the ones we know
and the truth
were the wrong and the right
the pain and the lies
where it all collides
and crashes
are the times we most yearn for company
for times when we are afraid of our own thoughts
and what we might realize when we take a second to stop
and realize what they mean
but we don't want that
we never want to hear
what we actually think
and yet we never want to hear
its going to be alright
because we know its the truth
we want to live in that blissful place between lies
between the ones we tell ourselves
between the ones we tell others
between teh ones we hear
and the ones we know
and the truth
were the wrong and the right
the pain and the lies
where it all collides
and crashes
who will u be
Who will you be when it all goes black
when the sun shuts out the lights
when moon turns its back
and the stars stop shining and the
darkness is blinding
who will you be when it all goes black
Who will you be when the wind blows the warmth away
and night takes over the day
when the birds cease to sing
and the sirens start to ring
who will you be when it all goes black
when the sun shuts out the lights
when moon turns its back
and the stars stop shining and the
darkness is blinding
who will you be when it all goes black
Who will you be when the wind blows the warmth away
and night takes over the day
when the birds cease to sing
and the sirens start to ring
who will you be when it all goes black
dust
I want to climb a mountain in the fading light
to feel what its like to have dusk settle on my shoulders
to understand when the trees exhale
what it smells like when flowers wilt
and the rocks relaxing
into the night i climb
until i too
feel like
dust
to feel what its like to have dusk settle on my shoulders
to understand when the trees exhale
what it smells like when flowers wilt
and the rocks relaxing
into the night i climb
until i too
feel like
dust
Who will you be when it all goes black
Who will you be when it all goes black
when the sun shuts out the lights
when moon turns its back
and the stars stop shining and the
darkness is blinding
who will you be when it all goes black
Who will you be when the wind blows the warmth away
and night takes over the day
when the birds cease to sing
and the sirens start to ring
who will you be when it all goes black
when the sun shuts out the lights
when moon turns its back
and the stars stop shining and the
darkness is blinding
who will you be when it all goes black
Who will you be when the wind blows the warmth away
and night takes over the day
when the birds cease to sing
and the sirens start to ring
who will you be when it all goes black
Sunday, September 23, 2007
stare into the black
Sometimes i want to live in a land of strobe lights
where one minute i can't see
and the next i've gone blind
sometimes its nice to just stair into the black
and wonderin whats moving towards you and whats
moving back
and then you realize it doesn't matter what you see
my arms around your neck exactly what you mean to me
close enough to smell and you taste just like champane
and i wish i could just stair into the black
with you
stare into the black
and not move
stare into the black
where one minute i can't see
and the next i've gone blind
sometimes its nice to just stair into the black
and wonderin whats moving towards you and whats
moving back
and then you realize it doesn't matter what you see
my arms around your neck exactly what you mean to me
close enough to smell and you taste just like champane
and i wish i could just stair into the black
with you
stare into the black
and not move
stare into the black
between the lines
the times in life when we most need to be alone
are the times we most yearn for company
for times when we are afraid of our own thoughts
and what we might realize when we take a second to stop
and realize what they mean
but we don't want that
we never want to hear
what we actually think
and yet we never want to hear
its going to be alright
because we know its the truth
we want to live in that blissful place between lies
between the ones we tell ourselves
between the ones we tell others
between teh ones we hear
and the ones we know
and the truth
were the wrong and the right
the pain and the lies
where it all collides
and crashes
are the times we most yearn for company
for times when we are afraid of our own thoughts
and what we might realize when we take a second to stop
and realize what they mean
but we don't want that
we never want to hear
what we actually think
and yet we never want to hear
its going to be alright
because we know its the truth
we want to live in that blissful place between lies
between the ones we tell ourselves
between the ones we tell others
between teh ones we hear
and the ones we know
and the truth
were the wrong and the right
the pain and the lies
where it all collides
and crashes
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
sleep snachers
Its amazing what darkness does to you
Heightens senses
Creates awayness like you never knew was possible
Creaking floorboards
Tip-toeing footsteps
Is that... is that a bed creaking? and again, and again...oh nevermind
Darkness is where the thoughts come out
Where ideas and worries are suspended in the air like mist
Until sleep snatches them
into dreams
Heightens senses
Creates awayness like you never knew was possible
Creaking floorboards
Tip-toeing footsteps
Is that... is that a bed creaking? and again, and again...oh nevermind
Darkness is where the thoughts come out
Where ideas and worries are suspended in the air like mist
Until sleep snatches them
into dreams
Thursday, September 6, 2007
where the special lines
Its the Little Things
People will never understand from the outside
and thats the point
The point of best friends is how stupid everything appears to others
thats where the special lies
thats why its special
because something means so much to you
and so little to someone else
like the smell of dirty clothes and incense
like the buying of raw dough with the complete understanding
that there was never ever any intention of baking it
like that song
like making a fool of yourself
like hikes that fail
like first names
like the cure for sickness
like laughing
Thats where the special lies
People will never understand from the outside
and thats the point
The point of best friends is how stupid everything appears to others
thats where the special lies
thats why its special
because something means so much to you
and so little to someone else
like the smell of dirty clothes and incense
like the buying of raw dough with the complete understanding
that there was never ever any intention of baking it
like that song
like making a fool of yourself
like hikes that fail
like first names
like the cure for sickness
like laughing
Thats where the special lies
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
summer ends
I hoped that it would never end.
And it went and ended anyways.
Fuck.
Summer always ends
and until now I was always happy for that
no bittersweet goodbyes or last hurrah's or tears goodbye
until now I was happy that days of sitting around wishing I had something to do were over
and now...
now its all fucked up
Because no one tells you
When you have a summer that you don't want to end...
It does.
Just like all the rest of the summers
It ends.
And the best thing that you can do, is hope everything you loved about it remains. And thats really what keeps me going. I know hoping everything is a little ambitious of me but really what's the harm in hoping. I'm not hurting anyone.
Sadly though it doesn't seem to deaden the blow any.
The fact remains that summer is over.
And for the first time
I wished it never would.
And it went and ended anyways.
Fuck.
Summer always ends
and until now I was always happy for that
no bittersweet goodbyes or last hurrah's or tears goodbye
until now I was happy that days of sitting around wishing I had something to do were over
and now...
now its all fucked up
Because no one tells you
When you have a summer that you don't want to end...
It does.
Just like all the rest of the summers
It ends.
And the best thing that you can do, is hope everything you loved about it remains. And thats really what keeps me going. I know hoping everything is a little ambitious of me but really what's the harm in hoping. I'm not hurting anyone.
Sadly though it doesn't seem to deaden the blow any.
The fact remains that summer is over.
And for the first time
I wished it never would.
murderer
I go into my own world
when I enter it there are many things people want to know
they want to know who I am and what I do
Funny thing is so do I
But I guess we can't all have what we want
Welcome to my world
I am walking down the street. I notice everything... its early. Its damp and I feel like I have had a drink in days, but its only been hours. The smell of whisky hasn't left my breath for over four years and I'm not about to let that streak go to waste. My gun feels heavy in my pocket, I wonder if that happens to everyone carrying a firearm for the first time. Though I'd say no one would really ever admit it even if it did. I know I wouldn't.
My cell phone buzz's in my pocket and it startles me a little bit. I let it ring feeling the vibrations against the metal of the gun. It makes a hollow sounds. I imagine thats what a penny feels like as it falls into a tin cup. I'm glad homeless use styrofoam so you never have to hear that sound when you drop them coins. That noise makes me feel empty.
The first that I ever killed was named Mr Narklemon, I just called him Mr N. Its easier to treat them less like people that way I find. Anyways some guy found me and asked me if I could take care of him. At that point in my life I"d do anything I was asked to long as someone slipped enough money into my had. Luckily he sliped just enough. This guy had a vendetta against N though and he said he wanted it done with a knife. I didn't care, method didn't matter long as he was dead and I was paid.
Thats why this is my first time with a gun. Ever since that first time I became well known by my sharp knife and sharper cuts. Nothing felt as clean as those cuts. But this time everything was going to be different... I barely wanted to see blood this time, as apposed to feeling it on my hands. This time it had to be clean.
when I enter it there are many things people want to know
they want to know who I am and what I do
Funny thing is so do I
But I guess we can't all have what we want
Welcome to my world
I am walking down the street. I notice everything... its early. Its damp and I feel like I have had a drink in days, but its only been hours. The smell of whisky hasn't left my breath for over four years and I'm not about to let that streak go to waste. My gun feels heavy in my pocket, I wonder if that happens to everyone carrying a firearm for the first time. Though I'd say no one would really ever admit it even if it did. I know I wouldn't.
My cell phone buzz's in my pocket and it startles me a little bit. I let it ring feeling the vibrations against the metal of the gun. It makes a hollow sounds. I imagine thats what a penny feels like as it falls into a tin cup. I'm glad homeless use styrofoam so you never have to hear that sound when you drop them coins. That noise makes me feel empty.
The first that I ever killed was named Mr Narklemon, I just called him Mr N. Its easier to treat them less like people that way I find. Anyways some guy found me and asked me if I could take care of him. At that point in my life I"d do anything I was asked to long as someone slipped enough money into my had. Luckily he sliped just enough. This guy had a vendetta against N though and he said he wanted it done with a knife. I didn't care, method didn't matter long as he was dead and I was paid.
Thats why this is my first time with a gun. Ever since that first time I became well known by my sharp knife and sharper cuts. Nothing felt as clean as those cuts. But this time everything was going to be different... I barely wanted to see blood this time, as apposed to feeling it on my hands. This time it had to be clean.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
or will it last this time...
i dunno when the wind
stop breathing its breeze
but i feel like your theonly one
that can russtle my leaves
it seems that everythings gone
quite for a time
but i wondering how long
this will last this time...
or will it last this time...
or will it last this time..
or will it last this time...
and i assure myself it'll be different
that your a nice guy
but then again so where they
until they took me for a ride
or will it last this time...
or will it last this time..
or will it last this time...
stop breathing its breeze
but i feel like your theonly one
that can russtle my leaves
it seems that everythings gone
quite for a time
but i wondering how long
this will last this time...
or will it last this time...
or will it last this time..
or will it last this time...
and i assure myself it'll be different
that your a nice guy
but then again so where they
until they took me for a ride
or will it last this time...
or will it last this time..
or will it last this time...
since when
Can you help me i've
feel i've lost my mind
and i'm not just saying that..
its gone for good this time
crazy is a place that i don't care to go
because i've been one to many times
to that one act show
since when did my heart become something of a game
since when did your lies become more frequent than the truth
and thats when i stop believein
and cut you loose
i musta cut the wrong string cuz
i feel i'm in a fall
and i musta forgotten that your promises
didn't mean anything at all
and it looks like i'm alone
and the streets never looked so dark
i'm left wondering when
heartbreak became your art
feel i've lost my mind
and i'm not just saying that..
its gone for good this time
crazy is a place that i don't care to go
because i've been one to many times
to that one act show
since when did my heart become something of a game
since when did your lies become more frequent than the truth
and thats when i stop believein
and cut you loose
i musta cut the wrong string cuz
i feel i'm in a fall
and i musta forgotten that your promises
didn't mean anything at all
and it looks like i'm alone
and the streets never looked so dark
i'm left wondering when
heartbreak became your art
waking
If i found that i woke tomorrow without you by my side
would i be wishing for another go
or grateful for the ride
and its hard to tell from the outside in
whether its all worth it or
if its only matters if you win
and i'm rolling over again
or if i trying to savor the taste
life it too short for crying
but those tears don't to go to waste
so wake me up soon before i realize
that the light is to bright in my eyes
before i realize your smile is
anything but a desguise
would i be wishing for another go
or grateful for the ride
and its hard to tell from the outside in
whether its all worth it or
if its only matters if you win
and i'm rolling over again
or if i trying to savor the taste
life it too short for crying
but those tears don't to go to waste
so wake me up soon before i realize
that the light is to bright in my eyes
before i realize your smile is
anything but a desguise
Saturday, July 14, 2007
5 steps
so close so close
5
your within smelling distance and i can feel it
or i think i can
4
your laughter shakes the air around and i just want to be close enough to know
what it is that makes you laugh
so i can
3
i am getting close enough you become intoxicating
that kind that makes you weak at the knees and
makes you question which way is up
and whether the sidewalk always moves like this
2
i stutter step and loose my pace... and confidence
and it feels liek everything
is going
s l o w e r
and then faster
and
1
*breathe*
5
your within smelling distance and i can feel it
or i think i can
4
your laughter shakes the air around and i just want to be close enough to know
what it is that makes you laugh
so i can
3
i am getting close enough you become intoxicating
that kind that makes you weak at the knees and
makes you question which way is up
and whether the sidewalk always moves like this
2
i stutter step and loose my pace... and confidence
and it feels liek everything
is going
s l o w e r
and then faster
and
1
*breathe*
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
peasy
make it look so easy
peasy lemon
don't squeeze me
lets make sure the juice
is worth that
premtive falling
in love isn't easy
peasy like lemon in
your eye
temorarily feeling
like your gonna die
make ya cry
or try
or lie
to steal a kiss
or two
sometimes it takes three
to tango
and to complicate that
three a crowd but
i'm the leader of the scene
leaving you like a bad dream
thinking of me long after you wake
just can't remember which road to take
no i can't remember which road to take
peasy lemon
don't squeeze me
lets make sure the juice
is worth that
premtive falling
in love isn't easy
peasy like lemon in
your eye
temorarily feeling
like your gonna die
make ya cry
or try
or lie
to steal a kiss
or two
sometimes it takes three
to tango
and to complicate that
three a crowd but
i'm the leader of the scene
leaving you like a bad dream
thinking of me long after you wake
just can't remember which road to take
no i can't remember which road to take
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Monday, May 7, 2007
this is not me
this is not me
this is not who i am or what i am or what defines me
i'm not being real
i'm not being who i really am so that you cannot touch
who i may turn out to be
and its is not me
this is not me that you see this is your impression of me and nothing more
a short blond 5 foot 4 who may have brains
and may not be what you think i am
prep jock weird crazily confident in a self concious way
and this is not me
this is not me because you haven't taken the time
so say hello
or goodbye
or seen me laugh smile or cry
and this is not me
this is the mask i wear so that i am who i wanna be
and you see what you wanna see
and this is not me
this is not me
this is not me
but what if it is
what would you do
would you know it
if you saw it
would you know truth over lies
or do you choose not to know
somethings are better left untold
this is not me
?
?
?
this is not who i am or what i am or what defines me
i'm not being real
i'm not being who i really am so that you cannot touch
who i may turn out to be
and its is not me
this is not me that you see this is your impression of me and nothing more
a short blond 5 foot 4 who may have brains
and may not be what you think i am
prep jock weird crazily confident in a self concious way
and this is not me
this is not me because you haven't taken the time
so say hello
or goodbye
or seen me laugh smile or cry
and this is not me
this is the mask i wear so that i am who i wanna be
and you see what you wanna see
and this is not me
this is not me
this is not me
but what if it is
what would you do
would you know it
if you saw it
would you know truth over lies
or do you choose not to know
somethings are better left untold
this is not me
?
?
?
i feel lost
i
i feel
i feel lost
i feel lost inside
i feel lost inside myself
i feel lost inside myself and
i feel lost inisde myself and don't
i feel lost inside myself and don't know
i feel lost inside myself and don't know what
to do
to get out
i can't seem
find the way
to escape
myself
i feel
i feel lost
i feel lost inside
i feel lost inside myself
i feel lost inside myself and
i feel lost inisde myself and don't
i feel lost inside myself and don't know
i feel lost inside myself and don't know what
to do
to get out
i can't seem
find the way
to escape
myself
Sunday, May 6, 2007
and you...
you leave me confused
and i
and i
and i don't know exactly what i'm trying to
say but i'm thinking if i say it really
really really
really fast
then maybe it will sound
like i know what i'm talking about
when i really have no idea
because
you leave me confused
like a tourist in the middle city
looking up at the sky as if
a map of my destination
may be printed up there...
or maybe you leave me scared
like a pregant mother at 16
not sure what to do
who to talk to
scared shitless of whats going to happen next
and not even sure
if she wants to find out
and i still don't know
how you do this to me
how you mke me feel like i've never
spoken an intelligent line of dialogue
and that no matter what i say
around you, your green eyes will still
sparkle enough to make my knees weak
enough so that i think the world notices
but not enough that you do
and you... you leave me breathless
like a kid watching fireworks for the first
time,
brilliant and bright not wanting them to
end though knowing they will soon
and not wanting to watch the end
cuz then soon
it'll all be over
and you leave me wondering
wondering like 5 year old with
lighting bugs,
wondering how do they brighten up the night
and wanting to just hold them in
their hands
even if only for a moment
and i
and i
and i don't know exactly what i'm trying to
say but i'm thinking if i say it really
really really
really fast
then maybe it will sound
like i know what i'm talking about
when i really have no idea
because
you leave me confused
like a tourist in the middle city
looking up at the sky as if
a map of my destination
may be printed up there...
or maybe you leave me scared
like a pregant mother at 16
not sure what to do
who to talk to
scared shitless of whats going to happen next
and not even sure
if she wants to find out
and i still don't know
how you do this to me
how you mke me feel like i've never
spoken an intelligent line of dialogue
and that no matter what i say
around you, your green eyes will still
sparkle enough to make my knees weak
enough so that i think the world notices
but not enough that you do
and you... you leave me breathless
like a kid watching fireworks for the first
time,
brilliant and bright not wanting them to
end though knowing they will soon
and not wanting to watch the end
cuz then soon
it'll all be over
and you leave me wondering
wondering like 5 year old with
lighting bugs,
wondering how do they brighten up the night
and wanting to just hold them in
their hands
even if only for a moment
shadows on the wall
love me love me not
love me love not me
love not me
for you'll see i'm not what you see
you see a shadow of me
a shadow of what i used to be
left lifeless by loves lies
and i am wondering where time flies
to when its all over
is it over, over there
or only here
in my cold appartment where
pages lay shredded made to tear
down the seams
splitting like broken dreams...
of lovers lost to unknown sources
and i lay questioning all my choices
wether asking you to stay
or was it to go
i guess we'll never know
what makes you stay
or go
to stay or go
love me love not me
love not me
for you'll see i'm not what you see
you see a shadow of me
a shadow of what i used to be
left lifeless by loves lies
and i am wondering where time flies
to when its all over
is it over, over there
or only here
in my cold appartment where
pages lay shredded made to tear
down the seams
splitting like broken dreams...
of lovers lost to unknown sources
and i lay questioning all my choices
wether asking you to stay
or was it to go
i guess we'll never know
what makes you stay
or go
to stay or go
sec ti ons
why do we compartment our lives off into sections
life work love friends and our leisurely selections
we seem to have 5 different faces to wear
into the different phases of our day
clothes for work and home and play
why do we have to mentally say
well its just all work and no play
can't we just come to realize that our life is what we make
what we're feeling and how we're doing all has to relate
instead its
work is bad
love lifes a drag
and i'm mentally in a state
this feeling of breaking our lives into pieces makes
them easier to loose
the pluzzle never seems to fit together and this is what we choose
we choose to differentiate the aspects of our lives
and then we wonder why theres no one around
to tell us why
life work love friends and our leisurely selections
we seem to have 5 different faces to wear
into the different phases of our day
clothes for work and home and play
why do we have to mentally say
well its just all work and no play
can't we just come to realize that our life is what we make
what we're feeling and how we're doing all has to relate
instead its
work is bad
love lifes a drag
and i'm mentally in a state
this feeling of breaking our lives into pieces makes
them easier to loose
the pluzzle never seems to fit together and this is what we choose
we choose to differentiate the aspects of our lives
and then we wonder why theres no one around
to tell us why
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
ughhhhhhhhh
there are times when i just feel like a heavy heart
and there no exhale deep enough to
get it off my cheast
i feel like i just want to rip something apart
but instead i yell and scream and cry
because i don't know what ails me
no i don't know why
i wonder if my heart is dark
and i wonder if i'm the only one
who feels like theres always something wrong
i smile and i laugh but then it all falls apart
for no reason i have no clue
but i'm left looking like the darkest shade of blue
i have no explination for these thoughts
no reason i scream at you
it doesn't make me feel any better
for hurting you
so i'll guess that its just one more time
those exhales wont seem deep enough
to let it all go
those tears won't come fast enough
for anyone one to know
and there no exhale deep enough to
get it off my cheast
i feel like i just want to rip something apart
but instead i yell and scream and cry
because i don't know what ails me
no i don't know why
i wonder if my heart is dark
and i wonder if i'm the only one
who feels like theres always something wrong
i smile and i laugh but then it all falls apart
for no reason i have no clue
but i'm left looking like the darkest shade of blue
i have no explination for these thoughts
no reason i scream at you
it doesn't make me feel any better
for hurting you
so i'll guess that its just one more time
those exhales wont seem deep enough
to let it all go
those tears won't come fast enough
for anyone one to know
Sunday, April 29, 2007
do-ing
is it natural
to feel alone again
cutting through life you
my ownly friend
ink and parchment
paper and pen
not really sure when this
all began
but i don't want it to stop
racing time like a clock watch
time me from here to there
but what if i go no where
cuz i'm running in my mind
its running all the time
and the sun never sets
and the planes never jet
cuz don't need to be moving to
know where i am
and i don't need to be talking
to speaking the plan
the ideas i got are the ones that got me to you
and you and you are the one that
brought me here
what about the sun and the wind in my hair
was it all just an illusion
lies becoming an obtrusion
and i can't seem to take this any more
lying on that floor
i stair up at the sky and i wonder
why
and i wonder why
wonder why...
to feel alone again
cutting through life you
my ownly friend
ink and parchment
paper and pen
not really sure when this
all began
but i don't want it to stop
racing time like a clock watch
time me from here to there
but what if i go no where
cuz i'm running in my mind
its running all the time
and the sun never sets
and the planes never jet
cuz don't need to be moving to
know where i am
and i don't need to be talking
to speaking the plan
the ideas i got are the ones that got me to you
and you and you are the one that
brought me here
what about the sun and the wind in my hair
was it all just an illusion
lies becoming an obtrusion
and i can't seem to take this any more
lying on that floor
i stair up at the sky and i wonder
why
and i wonder why
wonder why...
Friday, April 27, 2007
one day (repeating)
one day i will stop questioning myself
one day i'll understand
one day i'll cry myself to sleep and i won't be sad
one day i'll know why i want
one day i'll understand how to smile
one day i'll know why we question our dreams
one day i'll understand doubts
one day i'll see beauty in the mirror
one day i'll write all day
one day i'll hug a stranger
one day i'll talk until dawn
one day i'll sleep with a grin
one day i'll dance with my eyes closed
one day i'll stand in the rain without worrying about after
one day i'll understand why i'm waiting for that one day
one day
one day i'll be a somebody
one day i'll be a somebody
one day
one day i'll understand
one day i'll cry myself to sleep and i won't be sad
one day i'll know why i want
one day i'll understand how to smile
one day i'll know why we question our dreams
one day i'll understand doubts
one day i'll see beauty in the mirror
one day i'll write all day
one day i'll hug a stranger
one day i'll talk until dawn
one day i'll sleep with a grin
one day i'll dance with my eyes closed
one day i'll stand in the rain without worrying about after
one day i'll understand why i'm waiting for that one day
one day
one day i'll be a somebody
one day i'll be a somebody
one day
Thursday, April 26, 2007
island hopping
no man is an island but i often
question what is it then that keeps me so alone
i reach out and find myself swimming through quicksand
the more i try
the deeper i get
and the less likely i feel to find my way out
sinking sinking
i want to yell scream
shout out
why not me
why not me
question what is it then that keeps me so alone
i reach out and find myself swimming through quicksand
the more i try
the deeper i get
and the less likely i feel to find my way out
sinking sinking
i want to yell scream
shout out
why not me
why not me
forgetting
please don't go forgetting me
cuz i'm not going to
please don't go forgetting me
even though long gone
I won't be forgetting you
like a favorite song
stuck in my head
makes me smile
all day long
round and round
goes round in my head
and its something that i can't help
change or regret
i want you to remember me
like your favorite song
something you'll smile at
something to make you happy
dont go forgetting me
i don't wanna be just a memory to you
don't go forgetting me
i'm so scared thats what you'll do
cuz i'm not going to
please don't go forgetting me
even though long gone
I won't be forgetting you
like a favorite song
stuck in my head
makes me smile
all day long
round and round
goes round in my head
and its something that i can't help
change or regret
i want you to remember me
like your favorite song
something you'll smile at
something to make you happy
dont go forgetting me
i don't wanna be just a memory to you
don't go forgetting me
i'm so scared thats what you'll do
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
you'll never know
you'll never know that I found out about you lying from your dad
and he didn't know you were lying either
and i think both him and me figured it out at the same time
and you'll never know that i think you invited me out of pitty
but that i didn't care
and you'll never know that the pitty invite made my week
possibly month
and you'll never know that i know how sad that is
but didn't care
and you'll never know that i wrote for an hour with a blazing headache
and tears streaming down my face
my nose so clogged tissues were as useless as an
nalgene full of snad in the desert
and you'll never know what you meant to me
and you'll never know I would have drank
that nalgene if it could have brought you back
to what you were
and who we were
and what that meant
was that i was too sad
to lonley and too weak to know
that you'll never know
and that thats all that mattered
and he didn't know you were lying either
and i think both him and me figured it out at the same time
and you'll never know that i think you invited me out of pitty
but that i didn't care
and you'll never know that the pitty invite made my week
possibly month
and you'll never know that i know how sad that is
but didn't care
and you'll never know that i wrote for an hour with a blazing headache
and tears streaming down my face
my nose so clogged tissues were as useless as an
nalgene full of snad in the desert
and you'll never know what you meant to me
and you'll never know I would have drank
that nalgene if it could have brought you back
to what you were
and who we were
and what that meant
was that i was too sad
to lonley and too weak to know
that you'll never know
and that thats all that mattered
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
silent heartbreak
heartbreaks aren't noisy
there is no screaching breaks
no screams before the crash
no shattering of glass on the kitchen floor
no screaming high pitch noise that pierce your ears
heart breaks are silent
they are tears streaming down your face that you
look up into the lights to try to dry
they are the tears that stream down your face
without a noise
without a trace
no one to whipe them away
no one to make them dissappear
no one to make your head clear
its all irrational
its all in vain
no one will ever know
that heartbreaks aren't bus crashes they are the
slient jumpers in the night
the ones that no one hears scream
there is no screaching breaks
no screams before the crash
no shattering of glass on the kitchen floor
no screaming high pitch noise that pierce your ears
heart breaks are silent
they are tears streaming down your face that you
look up into the lights to try to dry
they are the tears that stream down your face
without a noise
without a trace
no one to whipe them away
no one to make them dissappear
no one to make your head clear
its all irrational
its all in vain
no one will ever know
that heartbreaks aren't bus crashes they are the
slient jumpers in the night
the ones that no one hears scream
what happens when i watch a movie
I wanna have short hair and be proud of my fizz
i want to be confident enough to wear my grandma's pears
and leggings that wouldn't even make nice curtains in said grandma's house
i wanna be brave enough to root for a dead beat dad without hesitation
i wanna be secretly or not so secretly admired... i'd settle for even admired from afar
i wanna make guys with feathered hair swoon
resort to their squeaky almost pre puberty voices when asking me out
i wanna best friend named ducky for fuck sake
i want a guy to confess his true love for me on my bed when i'm not there
or when im there
or when i'm asleep and he wonders if i can hear him
and i wonder if i'll ever here
i live to like you
and it takes a while to realize
where the poetry is in life
but once you find it
its all pretty in pink
i want to be confident enough to wear my grandma's pears
and leggings that wouldn't even make nice curtains in said grandma's house
i wanna be brave enough to root for a dead beat dad without hesitation
i wanna be secretly or not so secretly admired... i'd settle for even admired from afar
i wanna make guys with feathered hair swoon
resort to their squeaky almost pre puberty voices when asking me out
i wanna best friend named ducky for fuck sake
i want a guy to confess his true love for me on my bed when i'm not there
or when im there
or when i'm asleep and he wonders if i can hear him
and i wonder if i'll ever here
i live to like you
and it takes a while to realize
where the poetry is in life
but once you find it
its all pretty in pink
Thursday, April 19, 2007
unravelled
i always though you were gentle
delicate and such
smooth like fresh layed pavement
but your more like gravel than i
care to admit
and you told me to unwind
but instead i unravelled
being to get dizzy in this city
of blinding lights
and its not to light or to dark
whether you feel when we are appart
that its too long since you've been gone
and there are no words to say
what helps me through the day
is knowing what you feel shoulda coulda might be real
and i feel,
i feel
i feel as though i'm float through mid air
but not like a feather,
like a fraight train off a bridge
horn blowing and water coming into view
and knowing that its through
but not wanting to see
so i close my eyes hoping
hoping it'll dissappear on me
delicate and such
smooth like fresh layed pavement
but your more like gravel than i
care to admit
and you told me to unwind
but instead i unravelled
being to get dizzy in this city
of blinding lights
and its not to light or to dark
whether you feel when we are appart
that its too long since you've been gone
and there are no words to say
what helps me through the day
is knowing what you feel shoulda coulda might be real
and i feel,
i feel
i feel as though i'm float through mid air
but not like a feather,
like a fraight train off a bridge
horn blowing and water coming into view
and knowing that its through
but not wanting to see
so i close my eyes hoping
hoping it'll dissappear on me
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
**** ******* means...
Is it strange to think
that after all of it
all of the shit
after the petty lies
and the tears that i cried
after the silence became defening
and my trust lessing
after the come back
bring back life to the eyes
after the smile and hug
and laughter and sighs
after the smile that i was
unsure of
was it for me
afraid of you still being able
to crush me
after all that we've done
and all we've been through
the one that i want to talk to
is still you
that after all of it
all of the shit
after the petty lies
and the tears that i cried
after the silence became defening
and my trust lessing
after the come back
bring back life to the eyes
after the smile and hug
and laughter and sighs
after the smile that i was
unsure of
was it for me
afraid of you still being able
to crush me
after all that we've done
and all we've been through
the one that i want to talk to
is still you
non domestic
i was not born in a way
that makes me naturally better at dusting than you
that makes me naturally better at cooking though you can hope so
that makes me naturally want to clean up after your skanky ass comes home
i am not made for this
i work and breathe and get tired too
so who are you to say to me
honey can you get that for me
back the fuck off bitch i was not born to be your maid
or your slave or your domestic house elf
so please don't ask me
to do what i was born to do
i was born to make you realise
you can do it it too
that makes me naturally better at dusting than you
that makes me naturally better at cooking though you can hope so
that makes me naturally want to clean up after your skanky ass comes home
i am not made for this
i work and breathe and get tired too
so who are you to say to me
honey can you get that for me
back the fuck off bitch i was not born to be your maid
or your slave or your domestic house elf
so please don't ask me
to do what i was born to do
i was born to make you realise
you can do it it too
Sunday, April 15, 2007
blue period
he was one of those modest artist the kind
that you can't convise he's done right
to him its always something wrong
a brush stroke a pen stroke
a shade to dark
but we all fall in love with the art
or him
he was like his art a perfect looking piece
something you thought you couldn't attain
something i fooled my self to believe
that i was in the presence of a god
a michaelangelo of modern arcrilics
and i was...
the blank canvas
and you choose your time with me
to go into that melodramatic blue period
the one where everything looses its hue
turns cold and shows a broken soul
kinda like you
turned me into
that depressed blue man
sitting on the side with no one
to catch me when i cried
or died
inside
that you can't convise he's done right
to him its always something wrong
a brush stroke a pen stroke
a shade to dark
but we all fall in love with the art
or him
he was like his art a perfect looking piece
something you thought you couldn't attain
something i fooled my self to believe
that i was in the presence of a god
a michaelangelo of modern arcrilics
and i was...
the blank canvas
and you choose your time with me
to go into that melodramatic blue period
the one where everything looses its hue
turns cold and shows a broken soul
kinda like you
turned me into
that depressed blue man
sitting on the side with no one
to catch me when i cried
or died
inside
procrastination of death
i am procrastinating to die
cuz i don't think the time is just right
yet
i know its coming but
i'm going to try to keep runninng
cuz i'm not ready to say goodbye
i have to much left to see
to much to discover
to much left to be
I have yet to feel beauty of a lover
who loves me for me
and nothing else matters
when we are together its just
us forever and ever
watching rain or sun or lighting strike
i have yet to be crushed by the man
the one who takes my hand but
breaks my heart
and makes me understand that pain
isn't a sharp knife in your chest
its your heart shattering
and leaving you outta breathe
a choke hold so strong
that your not sure how long you have
i have yet to see the smile
of a child
who bears my name
and my eyes
the one who will make me understand
why i'm procrastinating
to die
cuz i don't think the time is just right
yet
i know its coming but
i'm going to try to keep runninng
cuz i'm not ready to say goodbye
i have to much left to see
to much to discover
to much left to be
I have yet to feel beauty of a lover
who loves me for me
and nothing else matters
when we are together its just
us forever and ever
watching rain or sun or lighting strike
i have yet to be crushed by the man
the one who takes my hand but
breaks my heart
and makes me understand that pain
isn't a sharp knife in your chest
its your heart shattering
and leaving you outta breathe
a choke hold so strong
that your not sure how long you have
i have yet to see the smile
of a child
who bears my name
and my eyes
the one who will make me understand
why i'm procrastinating
to die
white is right
I dunno who taught these kids
that they can become racist pigs and its ok
'yo why don't you go back to africa ya lil bitch'
is what they say
cuz you said it and he said it and granddaddy too
a bunch of white kids in suburbia don't know what to do
how easy it is too lose
your mind
when time after time after time
all i see
is people just like me
telling people just like you
you don't belong, this country isn't for you
and i want to slap them up side the head
and ask them
who the fuck are you
you don't have indian blood flowing through your viens
who are you to say this country isn't for those
who came over on planes
only those on ships
modern immigration is always illegal but what
our ancestors did was noble
trying to make the world global
the left because of oppression
the belief in what is right
but now this is what we've come
to
half a nation who believes
that right is white
so what is wrong?
what is wrong
what is wrong
that they can become racist pigs and its ok
'yo why don't you go back to africa ya lil bitch'
is what they say
cuz you said it and he said it and granddaddy too
a bunch of white kids in suburbia don't know what to do
how easy it is too lose
your mind
when time after time after time
all i see
is people just like me
telling people just like you
you don't belong, this country isn't for you
and i want to slap them up side the head
and ask them
who the fuck are you
you don't have indian blood flowing through your viens
who are you to say this country isn't for those
who came over on planes
only those on ships
modern immigration is always illegal but what
our ancestors did was noble
trying to make the world global
the left because of oppression
the belief in what is right
but now this is what we've come
to
half a nation who believes
that right is white
so what is wrong?
what is wrong
what is wrong
Friday, April 13, 2007
critics
dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum
stupid stupid stupid stupid
you'll never
you'll never you'll never
you'll never understand
never amount to
what do you know
what can you do
you'll never amount to
you wouldn't under
you'll never amount to anything
you wouldn't understand
what do you know
what can nyou do
you'll never..
you'll never...
give your best
give it your all
trying is the most important thing
100% effort
(you'll never amount to annything)
give it your best
give it your all
give it everything you got
(you wouldn't understand)
are you trying your best
this isn't enough
i don't know if your really trying
(what do you know about the world)
i'm sick and tired of hearing nothing
but this
and you wonder why you people make me
so sick
(we're just trying to help)
let me find my way
my way
my way
stupid stupid stupid stupid
you'll never
you'll never you'll never
you'll never understand
never amount to
what do you know
what can you do
you'll never amount to
you wouldn't under
you'll never amount to anything
you wouldn't understand
what do you know
what can nyou do
you'll never..
you'll never...
give your best
give it your all
trying is the most important thing
100% effort
(you'll never amount to annything)
give it your best
give it your all
give it everything you got
(you wouldn't understand)
are you trying your best
this isn't enough
i don't know if your really trying
(what do you know about the world)
i'm sick and tired of hearing nothing
but this
and you wonder why you people make me
so sick
(we're just trying to help)
let me find my way
my way
my way
generations to follow
its hard to write uninspired
but there is so much to do
the world is burning up outside
and i'm buring within
at the politicians who think of nothing
but greed and power and sin
i don' tunderstand what qualifies a man
to think nothing but himself
to believe his life is more important
than those who follow after
when will we learn that we live for today
but tommorrow as well
and those who fallow after us
should never have to ask
why didn't you do something
why didn't you act
i will not be the one to say
i couldn't do anything m'dear
i couldn't say that to you
but there is so much to do
the world is burning up outside
and i'm buring within
at the politicians who think of nothing
but greed and power and sin
i don' tunderstand what qualifies a man
to think nothing but himself
to believe his life is more important
than those who follow after
when will we learn that we live for today
but tommorrow as well
and those who fallow after us
should never have to ask
why didn't you do something
why didn't you act
i will not be the one to say
i couldn't do anything m'dear
i couldn't say that to you
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
coffee and cologne
and you were gone
like a blown out match
something you can't get back
but you didn't even leave a trail
no
but you did leave the smell
the smell of coffee and colonge
and the indent in the pillow
which will fade...
like the smell
and then i wont know you
and more
because thats what you were
to me
coffee and colonge
the morning wake up call
the reason to wake up
and now
i'm left here
laying next to the pillow
that used to hold you head
trying to grab to the smell
like a blown out match
something you can't get back
but you didn't even leave a trail
no
but you did leave the smell
the smell of coffee and colonge
and the indent in the pillow
which will fade...
like the smell
and then i wont know you
and more
because thats what you were
to me
coffee and colonge
the morning wake up call
the reason to wake up
and now
i'm left here
laying next to the pillow
that used to hold you head
trying to grab to the smell
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
rappin'
I dunno what truth has got on me
but that little fucker won't let me be
barking up the wrong tree at me
and i'm not coming down
you know i see the light but
who says i wanna live right
i wanna write play fight
i don't want to be richeous good or true
i wanna make others see red black and blue
you too
you must understand
what it takes to be who i am
in this society you must be faking it
or taking it
but you sure can't wait for it, to take you
the more love you got, the more its got you
wrapped around its finger like a vice
loves a game that you can't play twice
one roll two dice
and i'm hoping what i land on is
where you'll be
but i dunno if your gonna be hoping to
land with me
loves mystery continues even after
we are found
i dunno if you like me
but i hope that you do
i dunno if you love me
but i know that i do
this is too much to hope for
loves a game that you can't play twice
one roll two dice
one roll two dice
no second chances or screw ups or redos
the game is up
and its just me and you
and i'm left sitting on the side lines
writing these ryhme lines like i know
whats true
but i don't know shit more than you
but i don't know shit more than you
but i don't know shit more than you
but that little fucker won't let me be
barking up the wrong tree at me
and i'm not coming down
you know i see the light but
who says i wanna live right
i wanna write play fight
i don't want to be richeous good or true
i wanna make others see red black and blue
you too
you must understand
what it takes to be who i am
in this society you must be faking it
or taking it
but you sure can't wait for it, to take you
the more love you got, the more its got you
wrapped around its finger like a vice
loves a game that you can't play twice
one roll two dice
and i'm hoping what i land on is
where you'll be
but i dunno if your gonna be hoping to
land with me
loves mystery continues even after
we are found
i dunno if you like me
but i hope that you do
i dunno if you love me
but i know that i do
this is too much to hope for
loves a game that you can't play twice
one roll two dice
one roll two dice
no second chances or screw ups or redos
the game is up
and its just me and you
and i'm left sitting on the side lines
writing these ryhme lines like i know
whats true
but i don't know shit more than you
but i don't know shit more than you
but i don't know shit more than you
chain gang
and they beat back life with a stick
for not giving them their chance
for chaining their feet together
and not letting them dance
they shouted at the beauty
which they never had known
and the sons they lost
never having seen them grown
they cried for the women the loved
the ones too far gone
for the warmth they once shared
now lost for to long
they sang about the days of smiles
the ones that never stayed
for the soft grass and trees
when they were napping in the shade
they whispers for those lost
in the shuffle of the trade
for the shallow love they carried
all the way to the grave
they beat back life with a stick
and they never had their chance
for the people who cut their legs
and never let them dance
for not giving them their chance
for chaining their feet together
and not letting them dance
they shouted at the beauty
which they never had known
and the sons they lost
never having seen them grown
they cried for the women the loved
the ones too far gone
for the warmth they once shared
now lost for to long
they sang about the days of smiles
the ones that never stayed
for the soft grass and trees
when they were napping in the shade
they whispers for those lost
in the shuffle of the trade
for the shallow love they carried
all the way to the grave
they beat back life with a stick
and they never had their chance
for the people who cut their legs
and never let them dance
Monday, April 9, 2007
family paparazzi
please say cheese just one more time
give a big smile for me
my cheek bones hurt holding the smile
for the family paparazzi
every christmas its the same
same family chairs and food
but everyone one to seems to be
in a kodak sort of mood
give a big smile for me
my cheek bones hurt holding the smile
for the family paparazzi
every christmas its the same
same family chairs and food
but everyone one to seems to be
in a kodak sort of mood
Sunday, April 8, 2007
lil' girl dreams
for the girls
in the shadows
waiting for the light
the dark and hansom
stranger waiting
in the night
the ones that never questioned
that he would come along
the ones that never wondered
what was taking him so long
to the ones that kept on dreaming
night after night
the ones that kept on believing
that mr wrong was mr right
in the shadows
waiting for the light
the dark and hansom
stranger waiting
in the night
the ones that never questioned
that he would come along
the ones that never wondered
what was taking him so long
to the ones that kept on dreaming
night after night
the ones that kept on believing
that mr wrong was mr right
eyes
sprinkling star dust
like sugar i look up
and wonder
what makes the night so enchanting
is it the ever changing
shape shifting positons
or the knoweldge of
watching the past
before more
leaving me breathless and panting
the white stars shine bright
but they are not what i see
i look at the beauty of the night
its the darkness that i seak
for without the black the white would be
simply a dot without a glimmer
it is the black that surrounds the
stars that let them dance and shimmer
and i wonder if your eyes are
like the skies
and its the darkness in which i seak
its not the blue skies
within your eyes
but the wells of darknes
that comfort me
like sugar i look up
and wonder
what makes the night so enchanting
is it the ever changing
shape shifting positons
or the knoweldge of
watching the past
before more
leaving me breathless and panting
the white stars shine bright
but they are not what i see
i look at the beauty of the night
its the darkness that i seak
for without the black the white would be
simply a dot without a glimmer
it is the black that surrounds the
stars that let them dance and shimmer
and i wonder if your eyes are
like the skies
and its the darkness in which i seak
its not the blue skies
within your eyes
but the wells of darknes
that comfort me
lesser
I find it strange to think
18 years gone by
and I have not found the
thing i seak
a cause worth to die
I travel through life the
struggle and strife without
much of a thought
while others solider on
more battles to be fought
I've never gone hungery
for long
felt my stomach yell at me
never looked at water
when it was brown and
filled with dirt
out of a bottle
or a tap
was quite good enough for me
am learning lesser lessons
for not struggling these
or is the daily quest for
reason enough of a task
for me
18 years gone by
and I have not found the
thing i seak
a cause worth to die
I travel through life the
struggle and strife without
much of a thought
while others solider on
more battles to be fought
I've never gone hungery
for long
felt my stomach yell at me
never looked at water
when it was brown and
filled with dirt
out of a bottle
or a tap
was quite good enough for me
am learning lesser lessons
for not struggling these
or is the daily quest for
reason enough of a task
for me
anger
Mother natures got a temper
from what we do not know
but i keep hearing them buisnesses
saying them trees has got to go
so she'll was away our cities
and leave us crying in despair
for the thousands ontop of roof tops
waving into the air
we pave the hills and mountains
for easier country drive
and she'll produce a flood
leaving them high and dry
stop fighting me she screams
through the torando's wind she shouts
but we are too busy building shelters
to shut mother nature out
from what we do not know
but i keep hearing them buisnesses
saying them trees has got to go
so she'll was away our cities
and leave us crying in despair
for the thousands ontop of roof tops
waving into the air
we pave the hills and mountains
for easier country drive
and she'll produce a flood
leaving them high and dry
stop fighting me she screams
through the torando's wind she shouts
but we are too busy building shelters
to shut mother nature out
screaming
I wondered what I sounded like
screaming
God grew quite and heard
nothing
I felt like the world was water
and it was flowing all around
but I couldn't swim fast enough
and found myself drowned
in
the lake of bullshit that had been
fed to my brain since i was
old enough to know
that what i know was nothing
but its all i had to
keep on trudging on
through the world that i see
but i was always left wondering
did god grow tired of me
screaming
God grew quite and heard
nothing
I felt like the world was water
and it was flowing all around
but I couldn't swim fast enough
and found myself drowned
in
the lake of bullshit that had been
fed to my brain since i was
old enough to know
that what i know was nothing
but its all i had to
keep on trudging on
through the world that i see
but i was always left wondering
did god grow tired of me
Saturday, April 7, 2007
city sleeping
The city may be sleeping
but i can feel it breathing
down my neck
I'm stepping into the night
squinting into the
the glare of the
bright lights
Walking and wonderin'
whats your dreaming
while you sleep
but this night is changing
cuz your sleeping
next to me
Wandering down the street
i keep on pacing down the
block
wondering what time it is
hoping that my door won't
be locked
oh i know i've made mistakes before
and now i'm standing
at the door
wondering whether or not
to knock
but i can feel it breathing
down my neck
I'm stepping into the night
squinting into the
the glare of the
bright lights
Walking and wonderin'
whats your dreaming
while you sleep
but this night is changing
cuz your sleeping
next to me
Wandering down the street
i keep on pacing down the
block
wondering what time it is
hoping that my door won't
be locked
oh i know i've made mistakes before
and now i'm standing
at the door
wondering whether or not
to knock
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Its like every time i turn around
its not what i expect to see
Im wondering when i was left
standing here with just
me for company
im the only one who gets it
the only one that understands
the only one who knows what
i'm going through
your the only one to fix it
the only one who understands
the only one who doesn't know
what you do...
I wonder what ya thought about
when you said we'd would be
just like two peas in a pod
just you and me
and i'm wondering what you were doing
that day you passed me by
there was someone in your car
that day
someone on on the other side...
its not what i expect to see
Im wondering when i was left
standing here with just
me for company
im the only one who gets it
the only one that understands
the only one who knows what
i'm going through
your the only one to fix it
the only one who understands
the only one who doesn't know
what you do...
I wonder what ya thought about
when you said we'd would be
just like two peas in a pod
just you and me
and i'm wondering what you were doing
that day you passed me by
there was someone in your car
that day
someone on on the other side...
Monday, April 2, 2007
the swell season
Sometimes the wind
stops ceasing to blow
and it throws me
straight into your show
you play with my heart
like a puppet on some strings
and when they break you
simply
fall into the wings
soaring through the air
like a bird with no sky
i look down and wonder
what its like to cry
is it too much to be
someones lover today
is it too much to be
sleeping in the sea
this is the swell season
and the waves wash over me
this is the swell season
and all i can smell is the sea
i am wandering the beach
no foot prints beside me
gods to heavy to carry
or maybe its just me...
maybe its just me...
Sunday, April 1, 2007
adventurous haiku
i'm coming outta
the closet and can't find pants
can i borrow yours
migit man and the
giant are dancing the night away
to hanson may i add
mmmm bop dah ba do
dop do da pa do bop da
shoot me in the face
excuse me sir your
pants are ringing... no singing
the drunk hears nothing
i weave around
puke wondering how the hell
you can puke up glass
apples to apples
the pre-drinking game has gone
ary: kilts got pass by
dude if i had a
big mac in my hand i dunno
what i'd do, do you?
the closet and can't find pants
can i borrow yours
migit man and the
giant are dancing the night away
to hanson may i add
mmmm bop dah ba do
dop do da pa do bop da
shoot me in the face
excuse me sir your
pants are ringing... no singing
the drunk hears nothing
i weave around
puke wondering how the hell
you can puke up glass
apples to apples
the pre-drinking game has gone
ary: kilts got pass by
dude if i had a
big mac in my hand i dunno
what i'd do, do you?
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
haiku at 1204 am
Why do I tend to
cry, when I feel least alive
then you catch my eye
Day dreams occupy
my mind with thoughts of you
then i close my eyes
What does a heart sound
like when it shatters in my
chest, broken glass
Haikus are just a
little to shortened to
say what you wanna
cry, when I feel least alive
then you catch my eye
Day dreams occupy
my mind with thoughts of you
then i close my eyes
What does a heart sound
like when it shatters in my
chest, broken glass
Haikus are just a
little to shortened to
say what you wanna
I sleep
I sleep
to dream
of waking and finding
the dream
is real
I sleep
to find your arm
around my back holding
me close and
not looking back
to see what
you've left
I sleep
to close my eyes and
imagine purple skies
where rain falls like tears
and no one cries
I sleep
to feel the sound a
kiss makes
when it breaks
I sleep to understand
what it means to
be who i am
and who that means
to me
I sleep
to sleep
tomorrow
another day
to dream
of waking and finding
the dream
is real
I sleep
to find your arm
around my back holding
me close and
not looking back
to see what
you've left
I sleep
to close my eyes and
imagine purple skies
where rain falls like tears
and no one cries
I sleep
to feel the sound a
kiss makes
when it breaks
I sleep to understand
what it means to
be who i am
and who that means
to me
I sleep
to sleep
tomorrow
another day
Sunday, March 25, 2007
saul - esque part II
Children of daughters without fathers
follow the piper and me
without seeing the cloud of chaos
that lies in front of the
sea of nameless faces,
they stair back at me
I am no leader but I am
less lost
than thee
So let us follow the yellow
birch road to where
the wild things roam
lay in the sea of tranquility
and let the children free
They find their names carved
in hearts on the trees
I want to find love beneath
their shoes and let them slip
on the lust of longing
for anything but
loneliness
fancy lil two liners
There is no end only beginnings
that we never want to commence
I want to see if your kiss
is as sweet as your smile
I wanna drink moon rays
cuz sunshine aint cutting it today
I want to let the truth simmer
so everyone can feel its heat
that we never want to commence
I want to see if your kiss
is as sweet as your smile
I wanna drink moon rays
cuz sunshine aint cutting it today
I want to let the truth simmer
so everyone can feel its heat
I wonder.. and other stupid shit
I wonder whether Shakespeare ever thought
he was the shit
I wonder if there is a place you can stand
where the Mona Lisa can't see
I wonder how old Peter Pan is
I wonder if Michael Jackson
knows he's white
I wonder if Darwin competed in
survior what would happen when
he lost
I wonder if anyone believes
Donald Trumps hair is real
I wonder what Marvin Gay
hear threw the grape vine
I wonder if Einstien ever
cut his hair
I wonder if Garfunkel was jealous
that Simon was first
I wonder if Chubaka has a lisp
I wonder what made Oscar
Wilde
I wonder
he was the shit
I wonder if there is a place you can stand
where the Mona Lisa can't see
I wonder how old Peter Pan is
I wonder if Michael Jackson
knows he's white
I wonder if Darwin competed in
survior what would happen when
he lost
I wonder if anyone believes
Donald Trumps hair is real
I wonder what Marvin Gay
hear threw the grape vine
I wonder if Einstien ever
cut his hair
I wonder if Garfunkel was jealous
that Simon was first
I wonder if Chubaka has a lisp
I wonder what made Oscar
Wilde
I wonder
ode to cheesy bitter teenage love poems
And I found that breathing
was the best that I could do
And the only one that could
stop my fall, was you
And its too bad that I never knew
you were the one pushing me
and you weren't falling
like i fell for you
the crash was countered
with a splash
its you fell onto my heart
and i never knew
you'd be tearing it apart
who knew those lips of
yours, could do more than
kiss
those lips
tore my heart into bits
was the best that I could do
And the only one that could
stop my fall, was you
And its too bad that I never knew
you were the one pushing me
and you weren't falling
like i fell for you
the crash was countered
with a splash
its you fell onto my heart
and i never knew
you'd be tearing it apart
who knew those lips of
yours, could do more than
kiss
those lips
tore my heart into bits
Lovin Risk
People always tell you
to look before you leap
but no one warned you
about falling in love
with me
see i'm all about the
risks
theres never a garentuee
ya never know
how it'll go
when ya fall in love
with me
to look before you leap
but no one warned you
about falling in love
with me
see i'm all about the
risks
theres never a garentuee
ya never know
how it'll go
when ya fall in love
with me
saul-esque
The little girl with fire for eyes sees
tornados in the eyes of me
she tells me what I should do
find father time and tell him
the remedy for all
time is not healing these wounds
they are starting to scar
and mother nature isn't listening
being drowned out by the cars...
tornados in the eyes of me
she tells me what I should do
find father time and tell him
the remedy for all
time is not healing these wounds
they are starting to scar
and mother nature isn't listening
being drowned out by the cars...
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