peasy

make it look so easy
peasy lemon
don't squeeze me
lets make sure the juice
is worth that
premtive falling
in love isn't easy
peasy like lemon in
your eye
temorarily feeling
like your gonna die
make ya cry
or try
or lie
to steal a kiss
or two
sometimes it takes three
to tango
and to complicate that
three a crowd but
i'm the leader of the scene
leaving you like a bad dream
thinking of me long after you wake
just can't remember which road to take
no i can't remember which road to take

what do you see

how close to the mirror
do i have to stand
to understand
who i am

this is not me

this is not me
this is not who i am or what i am or what defines me
i'm not being real
i'm not being who i really am so that you cannot touch
who i may turn out to be
and its is not me
this is not me that you see this is your impression of me and nothing more
a short blond 5 foot 4 who may have brains
and may not be what you think i am
prep jock weird crazily confident in a self concious way
and this is not me
this is not me because you haven't taken the time
so say hello
or goodbye
or seen me laugh smile or cry
and this is not me
this is the mask i wear so that i am who i wanna be
and you see what you wanna see
and this is not me
this is not me
this is not me
but what if it is
what would you do
would you know it
if you saw it
would you know truth over lies
or do you choose not to know
somethings are better left untold
this is not me
?
?
?

i feel lost

i
i feel
i feel lost
i feel lost inside
i feel lost inside myself
i feel lost inside myself and
i feel lost inisde myself and don't
i feel lost inside myself and don't know
i feel lost inside myself and don't know what
to do
to get out
i can't seem
find the way
to escape
myself

and you...

you leave me confused
and i
and i
and i don't know exactly what i'm trying to
say but i'm thinking if i say it really
really really
really fast
then maybe it will sound
like i know what i'm talking about
when i really have no idea
because

you leave me confused
like a tourist in the middle city
looking up at the sky as if
a map of my destination
may be printed up there...
or maybe you leave me scared
like a pregant mother at 16
not sure what to do
who to talk to
scared shitless of whats going to happen next
and not even sure
if she wants to find out

and i still don't know
how you do this to me
how you mke me feel like i've never
spoken an intelligent line of dialogue
and that no matter what i say
around you, your green eyes will still
sparkle enough to make my knees weak
enough so that i think the world notices
but not enough that you do

and you... you leave me breathless
like a kid watching fireworks for the first
time,
brilliant and bright not wanting them to
end though knowing they will soon
and not wanting to watch the end
cuz then soon
it'll all be over
and you leave me wondering
wondering like 5 year old with
lighting bugs,
wondering how do they brighten up the night
and wanting to just hold them in
their hands
even if only for a moment

shadows on the wall

love me love me not
love me love not me
love not me
for you'll see i'm not what you see
you see a shadow of me
a shadow of what i used to be
left lifeless by loves lies
and i am wondering where time flies
to when its all over
is it over, over there
or only here
in my cold appartment where
pages lay shredded made to tear
down the seams
splitting like broken dreams...
of lovers lost to unknown sources
and i lay questioning all my choices
wether asking you to stay
or was it to go
i guess we'll never know
what makes you stay
or go
to stay or go

sec ti ons

why do we compartment our lives off into sections
life work love friends and our leisurely selections
we seem to have 5 different faces to wear
into the different phases of our day
clothes for work and home and play

why do we have to mentally say
well its just all work and no play
can't we just come to realize that our life is what we make
what we're feeling and how we're doing all has to relate
instead its
work is bad
love lifes a drag
and i'm mentally in a state

this feeling of breaking our lives into pieces makes
them easier to loose
the pluzzle never seems to fit together and this is what we choose
we choose to differentiate the aspects of our lives
and then we wonder why theres no one around
to tell us why

ughhhhhhhhh

there are times when i just feel like a heavy heart
and there no exhale deep enough to
get it off my cheast
i feel like i just want to rip something apart
but instead i yell and scream and cry
because i don't know what ails me
no i don't know why

i wonder if my heart is dark
and i wonder if i'm the only one
who feels like theres always something wrong
i smile and i laugh but then it all falls apart
for no reason i have no clue
but i'm left looking like the darkest shade of blue

i have no explination for these thoughts
no reason i scream at you
it doesn't make me feel any better
for hurting you
so i'll guess that its just one more time
those exhales wont seem deep enough
to let it all go
those tears won't come fast enough
for anyone one to know