i need to find me

I wonder when i will be comfortable being me
in these clothes these shoes these hats
i still don't know where my soul is at
trying to find it my pocket next to guitar pics
and loose change
and your number
and i wonder where it could be
i want to find you but less than i want to find me
i want someone to wake up to but not more than i want
something to wake up for
im not depressed or sad im just
looking for myself and
it seems i'm look behind wrong doors
i keep running into dead ends and dead beats
who try to do nothing but distract me from
finding me
and thats what i need
i need to hold me until morning and love that i wake up with me in my bed
i need to stair at myself in the mirror and like what i see
i need to find
me

to be darkness

sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be darkness
to consume everything
and allow minds to wander into you
without withholding

monsters under the bed

I don't know whether to pitty those who don't know the truth
or to shout it from the rooftops
is it better to let the city sleep than to leave it restless like me
i want everyone in the world to know that i don't know who to be
i don't know who to think of when i close my eyes
its all muffled inside and its been clawing at me
like a monster under my bed i
rush to turn on the to make the fear go away
but then im just left shivering under the fake pretense
that day light makes things clearer
but it doesn't
day light shows me confusion
makes mirrors reflect my reflection isn't who i imagine
its hard to believe thats what you see when you look at me
i don't feel like that
that mirror image of me is not who i think that you see of me
and i stand shivering in the silent light of my room
hoping the monsters under my bed will stay there