i need to find me

I wonder when i will be comfortable being me
in these clothes these shoes these hats
i still don't know where my soul is at
trying to find it my pocket next to guitar pics
and loose change
and your number
and i wonder where it could be
i want to find you but less than i want to find me
i want someone to wake up to but not more than i want
something to wake up for
im not depressed or sad im just
looking for myself and
it seems i'm look behind wrong doors
i keep running into dead ends and dead beats
who try to do nothing but distract me from
finding me
and thats what i need
i need to hold me until morning and love that i wake up with me in my bed
i need to stair at myself in the mirror and like what i see
i need to find
me

to be darkness

sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be darkness
to consume everything
and allow minds to wander into you
without withholding

monsters under the bed

I don't know whether to pitty those who don't know the truth
or to shout it from the rooftops
is it better to let the city sleep than to leave it restless like me
i want everyone in the world to know that i don't know who to be
i don't know who to think of when i close my eyes
its all muffled inside and its been clawing at me
like a monster under my bed i
rush to turn on the to make the fear go away
but then im just left shivering under the fake pretense
that day light makes things clearer
but it doesn't
day light shows me confusion
makes mirrors reflect my reflection isn't who i imagine
its hard to believe thats what you see when you look at me
i don't feel like that
that mirror image of me is not who i think that you see of me
and i stand shivering in the silent light of my room
hoping the monsters under my bed will stay there

I miss the people

I miss the people

I miss the people who call me to do nothing
I miss the people i call to do nothing
I miss the people who never cause awkward silences
and the ones that break them when they are awkward
I miss the people that will come over just so i can fall asleep
I miss the people who never make me question why i'm doing something... and in fact usually encourage me to do it, specially if its stupid... especially

I miss the people

blissful place between the lines

the times in life when we most need to be alone
are the times we most yearn for company
for times when we are afraid of our own thoughts
and what we might realize when we take a second to stop
and realize what they mean

but we don't want that
we never want to hear
what we actually think
and yet we never want to hear
its going to be alright
because we know its the truth

we want to live in that blissful place between lies
between the ones we tell ourselves
between the ones we tell others
between teh ones we hear
and the ones we know

and the truth
were the wrong and the right
the pain and the lies
where it all collides

and crashes

who will u be

Who will you be when it all goes black
when the sun shuts out the lights
when moon turns its back
and the stars stop shining and the
darkness is blinding
who will you be when it all goes black

Who will you be when the wind blows the warmth away
and night takes over the day
when the birds cease to sing
and the sirens start to ring
who will you be when it all goes black

dust

I want to climb a mountain in the fading light
to feel what its like to have dusk settle on my shoulders
to understand when the trees exhale
what it smells like when flowers wilt
and the rocks relaxing
into the night i climb
until i too
feel like
dust